It was now summer and my divorce was about to be final.

I had dropped one of my boys off at the church for junior camp and that’s when I was asked if I could help with VBS.

I said yes.

I was surprised they even asked me since I hadn’t been attending church there since my separation.

Remember the church was no longer mine but his…and that’s how it appeared too.

I wasn’t shunned by the church, but I wasn’t exactly embraced either.

Sides were picked…intentional or not.

Only one person in that church came to me, sat with me, and asked me why.

I repeat—only one.

She was the only one I was able to share my story with…the porn and adultery she knew about.

It was the discovery of being married to a covert narcissist…and the emotional abuse that came with it that many knew nothing about.

I spent decades pretending, changing myself, being manipulated, walking on eggshells, and all the while making him look like husband and father of the year.

He spent the months leading up to our divorce putting on a great show for the church, my family, my friends, and our community.

Mr. Repentant.

Mr. Prayer Man.

Mr. I Love My Family.

As the divorce got closer…the smear game began…the lies.

I was the one cheating on him.

It was such a good show and story, I almost believed it myself.

My oldest did believe it and went to live with him.

And once again, I found myself sitting alone at the table.

I didn’t expect to be walking through my dark valley alone…but that’s how the Father wanted to grow me in this season.

It was at VBS our pastor met me in the parking lot.

He apologized for never sitting down with me or my soon to be ex husband together.

He asked, as our pastor, if he could do that once before I went through with the divorce.

Again, I said yes.

Before arriving the Lord told me once again—you are to be quiet, do not say one word to defend yourself…I will defend you.

I obeyed.

I didn’t say one word…I sat there and only wept as I listened.

It was the longest hour of my life.

An hour I’ll never forget.

Just like that he made me the sinner, the bitter one unable to forgive.

He made me the crazy one.

His sneakiness had pulled the wool over their eyes.